Ep. 39 – How To Overcomer The Fear Of Failure Part 2

Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss:

1. In order to overcome fear, you must take time to write down what you think you are hearing from God
2. It’s important to be sure that its God talking not you so take time to clarify the vision, think more about it
3. God’s plan is usually very huge, but we must ask Him how to start small, stay steady and finish strong
4. Your personal time with God is key.

“I’m gonna make the rest of my life be the best of my life”   – Anonymous

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Ep. 39 Transcripts: How to overcome the fear of failure Part 2

[Intro Music]

Olu: You’re welcome to Like Jesus Podcast. This is Olu Sobanjo and I have my husband, Ade Sobanjo with me today. Thankfully, he’s back!

Ade: Hello!

Olu: It’s good to have you. 

Last week we started on the topic of fear and how to overcome fear in starting out what God is putting in your heart to do. We mentioned different fears that we had. But while we were talking, sweetie, you mentioned that maybe it’d be nice for us to look at “What were  the fears I had following you?” Cos you’re the visioner and I actually took some time to think about it. I can’t remember any major fear I had before we started. I remember that it wasn’t new to me especially because I had known you for a while before then and you had been saying this or something similar to it at the time. Maybe it wasn’t as in-depth as it was at the beginning but it became clearer and clearer so the fears were not real. I was more optimistic about the whole thing and knowing you – knowing that this must be God… You know, I see the way you walk with God and I know that it’s not just coming from nowhere. So, it was a lot easier and I’m not the number one person so what could go wrong for me at least? I didn’t see it like that. But it was not until we started the work that I started to develop different questions and fears. And I’m definitely going to be talking about that in another episode.

Today, I’ll like us to focus more on this aspect of overcoming the fear that may be limiting you to start. Last week, we identified some of the fears you had and some that I had. One of them was the fear of not hearing right – Am I sure this is God? The next one is the fear of doing it wrong – I know I have heard but then, am I going to do it right, the way it’s supposed to be? I talked about the fear of failing in public, fear of people discouraging you, and I know that there are so many other fears out there that people may be feeling. One of them may even be the fear of losing control, losing your comfort, or losing those things that you are attached to if, for example, God is calling you to begin to do things that will pull you away from your comfort zone.

And so, I’d like to ask you a little further. I want us to delve into this and help this fellow that is very busy with activities or busy in their mind and wondering, how do I overcome this fear of starting out when I’m not even sure?

Ade: Yes. Thank you so much for taking the time to remind us of those things. There’s one other fear that I had then which I mentioned – the fear of knowing the right time. I think that’s what really stops a lot of people from starting even when they know and have clarified that it is God that is speaking to them about something He wants them to do.

Let me just start by saying that the most important part of this is being sure that this is God. I know that once I know it’s God, I’ve overcome a lot of things. Which is, I know that it will be well; it will end well when I have the idea that this is God speaking to me. I think that’s the same thing that you are saying about how it was for you when we were going to start the church. You had this confidence that it’d be okay because you knew it was God speaking to us. Let’s talk about this fact: if I know that God is saying something to me, how do I go forward with it? How do I overcome that fear of moving ahead? We’ve talked about clarifying that it is indeed God and this is done in the place of prayer. Now, I’d like us to talk about taking the first steps. When we started, we didn’t start by closing our business, you quitting your job and then we going in full-time. No! We started small and I always say that – start small, stay steady and finish strong. That’s how God has helped me and I think if anyone wants to do anything, you should think of starting small. Before we even think of starting, let’s talk about clarifying.

For clarifying, I’d say the first step is to write down what you think you are hearing. Don’t think about how it is going to be done, who is going to help you or whether people are going to like it or not. Just write down what you think you are hearing. For instance, if I’m a doctor and I’m beginning to hear God say to me, I want you to be a musician, I want you to spend more time doing gospel music… And, I know that I have the gift of music, then I’m going to write down – What am I thinking of doing now? What’s going to happen? I’m going to record an album, start a record label… I’m just going to write down what I’m thinking I’m hearing. It’s from there that I can now move forward.

Olu: So, from what you’re saying, I’m hearing, Take time to write down but what if I don’t have the time? You don’t know how tight things are. How do I even get there? Because, a lot of times, what people may be going through may be in the aspect of being so clouded in their minds that they are not able to find that time. Is there a way that you can recommend to help somebody find that time?

Ade: Well, that’s a good thing you are saying. I don’t believe that people don’t have time. I believe that we usually make time for what we need to do. If a person tells me that I don’t have any time to sit down and write down what I feel God is really saying to me, then I’d have to ask them really, what are you spending all that time to do? Because, if the owner of you is trying to get your attention, and you don’t have time, it’s similar to your boss trying to call you for a meeting to talk about the reason why you are employed and you tell the boss, “you know what? I don’t have any time to meet with you.” You’re going to be out of a job so quickly. That’s how I see it. If I say I don’t have time to sit down and hear God, then it means that I want to crash that life.

So, what will you do? Take one day or weekend off, talk to your husband, beg and say, “You know what? I’m going to do the next week or 3 weeks if I have to, but can you just take the children for 5 hours? I need to get something straight…” Just do that. What I’m saying right now is that it really doesn’t take much time. You can even write it on your lunch break. What are the thoughts that are coming to your mind? Just write them down and then they’ll begin to flow. I think once you start writing, there is a flow – you’ll see yourself writing some more thoughts that never came to your mind before when you were still busy – not engaging that thought.

Olu: Very good! Very good! So, this person has the time now and they’ve scheduled. Perhaps, they found a few minutes to squeeze this in and they’ve actually engaged the thought… I like the way you said the owner of your life – the one that sent you here is asking and demanding to explain some things to you and you are busy. It just reminds me of one time that God spoke to me using the colt that Jesus rode in Jerusalem. He said just the same way that colt was tied down, I want you to be reserved, I want you to reserve space in your life for me, just in case I need to use a colt – just in case I need one hour of your time, reserve that time. So, I think it’s just very important that we are able to find time for God.

There’s this other fear which is, “I know what I have right now. I’m familiar with what I have going on – this is comfortable for me. Then God begins to call you to go into some else that is unknown – completely unknown. And you are writing it down but it’s still unknown. What do you say to such a person that is comfortable with where they are right now – it may or may not be great but it’s a known. So, what about the unknown? How do you scale through to begin to believe the unknown more than shoving it under the bed?

Ade: God usually calls us and directs us to something that we are not used to. What we are not used to is not usually unknown 100% because if God is calling you to it, there is something that you have, already deposited in you by Him, that’d make that happen. Somehow, your life is designed for whatever God is calling you to. Unknown is usually in the sense that you don’t know what will happen once you start doing that; you don’t know how your life will be impacted once you go out and begin; you don’t know what it’s going to lead to. And so we are afraid to leave the comfort to begin something that we don’t know where it is going to end.

For that, what I’ll encourage someone to do is just start thinking about it for now. The first step is never doing. It’s thinking, imagining it and letting it go through your mind. Ruminate over it and pray on it. That’s what I do. I take time to pray over it. I think of it and imagine myself in it and think of how far it will go. You know, just dream about it. It is while you are doing that, you’d develop the strength to either go forward or go back.

Sometimes, I’ve had to think about things and while it grows bigger in my mind, trying to see where it’d lead, I discover that the whole thing dies down because it was just a desire, not a leading – not a direction. But there are some things that when you let it stay long in your mind, you discover that it is actually a leading. For example, you say you are feeling called to enter into ministry. You’d have to think about who you are ministering to. Say it’s ministry to children, think of designing a program for children. Then you think about what you want to do and how you are going to design it… All of that is in the brain. You’re not committed to anything neither have you spent anything. The only thing you’ve done is thinking and that’s very important. It is after that is settled in your mind that you can then move forward. Once you get that, the next thing is something I said earlier – think of how you can start small.

Olu: Thank you very much. As you were talking, I really like the statement where you said, when you begin to think about it and you are clarifying, the boldness to start will come. The thing that looks like it’s an unknown right now will become so real to you and you begin to do it. That brings us back to the point of clarifying the vision and making sure you hear what God is saying and as you are writing it down, you’re bringing it back to God.

Do you want to talk to us a little bit more about that? It’s taking more time to think about it now and it’s writing some things down, how do I clarify with God? Do you want to talk a little more about that? How do I perfect what I’m thinking about? Because some of the ideas that I have are mine – just me dreaming big and some are what God wants me to do right now. How do I clarify with God which one to do and which one not to do?

Ade: Usually when God begins to speak to us, it’s way bigger than we can imagine. I find that when God begins to speak to me about something that He wants to do, they are humongous – scary in the sense that when you think of the size of what they are, you may panic. That’s why I said write down first. When you write down, you think about it.

The clarity comes with time. I can’t overemphasize that. I don’t think it is wise for you to have an idea today and then you are implementing next week. I think it’s best to give it one month or a couple of weeks. Once you’ve done that, the next step is sharing with your significant other – your spouse, your children if you have them, your mentors, your leaders… There’s a process if it’s something that God is asking you to do because usually, it’s big.

Now, there are some things that God will ask you to do which are just like simple instructions like “Talk to that person. Visit that person. Develop a new hobby. Become  more healthy in your living…” That’s not what I’m talking about. Those are things you just do. You just take actions. These are things you can’t lose. You gain from them as these are things you ought to be doing anyway. I’m talking about God asking you to change a career, add a new career… Sometimes it’s an addition. You don’t have to end what you are doing. There’s a way that God has planned to join them together. That’s why I’m saying once you have clarified, it won’t be much of an issue.

You were asking how to clarify which is God’s plan for you exactly. I think writing down and praying through is the way to go. The things will change as you go ahead. A lot of things will change when you are in it. But you want to get yourself motivated to start it. I begin to think about the difficulties that are ahead, what are the challenges that I’m going to face… I think about these things and don’t shy away from them because if you shy away from them, you will meet them and then you won’t know how to handle them. If I keep thinking up all the problems, and the challenges and I keep having ideas on how to solve them, then I keep going. But sometimes, you think of all the challenges that are there and you discover that I didn’t think this through… this isn’t the way to do that. Now that doesn’t mean you should shut down on the project. No! It means you should figure out how to solve this problem and keep going. That is how you’re not going to stop after 2 weeks when you are ready to take off.

Olu: Very true!

As you are saying this, I’m just remembering some things that I’ve been venturing into recently. This is the sewing world. Recently, I got a sewing machine and I just enjoy it. It’s like a hobby – just making dresses, making things that members of my family would wear and it gives me so much joy looking at that. I want to do more of it but I can’t. I was beginning to think, “What next do I do? Do I hire someone?” I had that fear at the beginning and even up till now, I’m not exactly sure where this is going.

When I started making the first few things that we were wearing, people started asking me, Oh! I want one too. And it’s like people began to demand more of that thing but I’m not even sure I want to do it… I’m just seeing it as my hobby but now I’m beginning to see it as it can actually be a clothing line or something like that. And I’m doing a lot of study and prayer but still, I’m taking it one step at a time.

It’s good to know that you just do as much as you can but make sure you clarify. That’s one thing that is keeping me right now – clarifying and getting an idea of how is this going to fit into all that I have going on? How is this not going to take away from the most important things in my life? What exactly am I getting at? Where am I going with this? So, I’m still trying to understand all of that with the very little time that I have left to think about something else. Even though right now, I have somebody that comes into the house and works with me on this, but it’s taking so much time but I see it as an investment because I’m trying to see what it takes to even consider going in this direction. It’s costing me some money so it might cost some money as well.

I think that this has been a very good discussion today and I really like the way things are going. I don’t know if you have some other extra things that you want to add to our listeners that are saying, I think I want to trust God and go for it. By go for it, I don’t mean taking steps yet but maybe there are some people that are taking steps and they are ready to push on or some are still at the place that they are saying – I just want to clarify some more. I don’t know if you have some other final things that you want to add.

Ade: Yes. I want to also say that we don’t need to put all that hocus-pocus around God speaking to us. Sometimes, some people are so scared to say God spoke to me and I heard a loud voice. It’s not about that. It’s just that desire – He just begins to give you an idea. He drops a thought. You need to know how God speaks to you. When God speaks to you, and you have this idea, you just begin to develop it. Just like you said, Olu, that you got a machine and started sewing. That’s not going to be a disaster if someone spends some money to buy a machine to try out a hobby. That’s why I said, once God begins to put something in your heart, don’t make too big a deal of it. However, if it’s a very big deal – for something very big after you’ve thought about that, come back again and say, how do I start small so that I can step out, taking one step at a time and build from there.

Just like you were sharing, I also had this desire in April 2016. It was that “You know what? I’ve heard people say they’ve made money online through Amazon so I said I’m going to do a small website and see how it’s going to go. Now, that website is making some little change, little money but it’s money. And it’s just a hobby so we can do those things and they have a way of impacting our lives.

So, if you are there and you have this idea to do something for God or do something that you’ve sensed it’s been there, why don’t you think of starting small? But that’s after you’ve talked with people around you. It’s always good to talk with the people around you. They can show you a few things that you may not see and then trust God to lead you and to guide you. There’s nothing wrong with you going a few weeks or months down the line and realize, “Oh, it’s just going to be a hobby… it’s never going to be big. It’d just be a one-time investment.” That’s alright but you don’t want to do a lot of that for your life and not really do one thing big that God may have been impressing in your heart to do. That’s what I just want to add.

Olu: Thank you very much. And people, it’s been nice just sharing with you again this week. I just want to wrap it up with the idea that your personal time with God is key.

Your personal quiet time which we talked about some weeks ago – spending time with God and actually hearing Him. Back to the point where Pastor Ade was saying, the more you spend time with God, the stronger that thing is in your mind. The stronger it becomes and the bolder you become then you begin to take steps. No matter what people think or what’s happening, you just keep going.

I was looking at the book of Joshua the other day, that common Joshua 1:8. I realized that this guy Joshua had been with Moses for so long. He was ready but God still had to go get Him and say, “Don’t fear. Don’t worry. Just stay with me and let this book of the Law not depart from your mouth. Rather, meditate on it day and night.” Spend time with God and that’s where you’d get that boldness from. Don’t worry. Just keep going.

I’m still giving away to anyone that subscribes to the e-mail, ‘My Personal Quiet Time Guide’. It’s still available. If you have not signed up, it’s a mini book that tells you some of the things that I do when I pray and this isn’t some things I just came up with all by myself. I got them from books and other people. So it’s going to definitely help you. There are some questions that I ask myself every day as I journal. Questions like: What did I learn yesterday that I won’t want to forget? How did I follow or lead people? You want to, you know, ask yourself questions. These are tools that will help you engage the thought of what God is saying to you. When I look back at many of the things that I write, I see that I can even use them for other projects later. It can become a devotional, a book, a training guide… you know, just me journaling what God is saying to me on a daily basis. I know you do that too, sweetie so I know a lot of people do that.

So, if you want that book, just go to the website, olusobanjo.com and enter your e-mail address and you will get an email to confirm. You check your junk email most likely, it will be there if it’s not in the inbox and then you confirm that. Then you get the book.

To close it today, I’m going to ask you to please pray for us.

Ade: Father, we thank you so much for this time that we’ve had discussing obeying you and yielding to your leading – your promptings in our lives.

Lord, I pray for everyone who is listening to this that you’d grant them the grace to take the time to stop and listen to you. And as they are listening, they’ll have the grace also to write down and flesh out why you are speaking to them; to dream, to imagine and to allow you to show them the picture of what you want to do. And furthermore, give them the grace to take that first step to begin that new thing you are laying in their hearts to do; to bless somebody. Father, we desire that your name alone will be glorified in all that we do.

I pray for strength for everyone that is going through a difficult time right now. I pray for breakthroughs and victories for those who are going through really challenging situations. Thank you, Father! In Jesus name.

Olu: Amen. Alright! Until next week, continue to enjoy God’s presence.

Bye for now.

Ade: Bye!