I used to think that difficult individuals were the source of my frustrations. I mean people that are a bit more demanding than others. I felt controlled by them and found it difficult to say ‘No’ to them, therefore they aggravate my stress level. An example was the fellow that visited a new church plant we started a while ago. In my opinion, this fellow was extremely demanding; like the whole world must be about them.

Before showing up at church they called a couple of times to ask for a ride. However, being a young church with limited hands, the only option we had would have to pick them up about 1.5 hours earlier than the service start time, which was too early for them. Eventually, when they showed up, I confirmed that I was right, they seemed to love attention; a lot. It was interesting to me at the time that someone could be as demanding at the beginning of a new relationship. As much as I tried to be so Christianly, I felt irritated and frustrated. And so much more when they eventually chose to remain in that church at the time, despite all the complaints they had.

I was so sure these high maintenance individuals were the cause of my frustrations until God opened my eyes. One major problem I had was that I wasn’t sure of who I was made to be. Yes, I am sure you are wondering what that has to do with my level of joy or frustration. Oh yes, it has a whole lot to do with it.

Just because I wasn’t sure of who I was and what I was designed to be, I assumed I must be there for everyone. I saw every opportunity as very important. However, the more I tried to please everyone around me the more my frustrations increased; especially when I met people I couldn’t seem to satisfy.

The truth is that I had an image of who I wanted to be, and so if I meet someone who either challenged that or ignored me, I got really threatened and irritated. Today the story is different. The life I now live is no longer mine. I am no longer trying to be ‘that image’. I want to be nothing so that He can be visible through me.

Thank God! I no longer depend on people’s approval for my joy. I have handed over my desires and dreams to God. Such a freedom, such peace!  Now it doesn’t matter if someone thought I was kind or not, smart or not, there for them or not. What matters is that God does what’s on His agenda.

You see my friend, if you are frustrated, the problem is not just from the person causing the pain but YOU. It’s true that the other fellow has issues, but the truth is that you do as well. So many of us Christians, who are supposed to be salt and light, are frustrated all over the world today. Stressed to the bones because of other individuals.

In order to be able to ENGAGE life and display Jesus’ love and life to the world around you in a meaningful way, you must be willing to identify your frustrations. Could it be that you are angry because these people are spoiling your show? 

If you are where I used to be…relax, you are in the right place, my aim is that you become free as well. That you get to the place where you are thriving the way you were meant to be. And in the next posts and podcasts, we will be delving into every area necessary to get you closer to you jumping towards your purpose. So stay tuned.

Question:  What else do you think causes people to be frustrated? You can leave a comment below:

Those who diligently seek God must believe that He is good. I don't think I can say it is enough – God is good!

“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”Hebrews 11:6 NLT

Those who diligently seek God, who are those? Are you one? Do you believe he is? If yes, then do you believe He rewards?

Trust me, my dear friend, I am not telling you a theory, I am a living student and follower of the will of God. Every single day I choose to follow His will. Sometimes it's easier than others.

When you are following God's plans (His will) you must be prepared (and ready) that He will lead you to places you don't naturally want to go, places outside of your comfort zone. It can be hard for you but relax, you are in Safe Hands!

God is a good Father, however, He pushes us and when we choose to trust and follow Him, taking steps, choosing Him over our fears, we gain more trust as He continues to hold us.

As I took some steps in prayers this morning, hard choices for me naturally, steps obviously outside of my comfort zone, even shed some tears in His presence, this is the song that I was reminded of.

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
All fear is gone
Because I know He owns my future
My life is worth a living
Just because He lives

When I sang "all fear is gone" I was still scared, but I chose to put His will above my feelings. The pain that we suffer is small compared to the joy we receive as our knowledge of Him increases. He is our reward.

I chose you, Lord!
I love you, Jesus!

I am sure, very sure, you love me and so I trust you!

Its hard to trust God but it's worth every step and every pain. What about you? Can you please add a song or anything that helps you remember to follow His plans? Share a comment below:

Cindy had always seen herself as an influential politician. She was attracted to opportunities to hold leadership positions since she was in grade school. Same in high school. On her last day of high school, she met Philip, a fine young man, who’s dad was the Mayor of their city. Well, the truth is that the attraction was not solely because of Philip’s personality and character. It was because she desires to be more exposed to politics and that lifestyle. Many of us are like Cindy, we have dreams and as we grow, our dreams also grow. They become our fuel for life. Whenever our dreams are being actualized we feel elated and motivated and otherwise, we get sad, mad or angry.

In my last post and podcast, I talked about the fact that you must trust God to reveal your purpose. However, one major way to know if you trust God in the area of His purpose for you is to check if you are willing to hand over your dreams to Him. Depending on what you’ve met on your road of life, many of your dreams might have fallen off while some others are still very strong. Are you willing to surrender what I really wanted to be?

Though I personally believe that God some of your dreams are actually part of God’s plans, however, you must first surrender them completely to Him. You must be willing to be whatever He wants you to be, even if that means nothing or at least less than what you have always wanted to be. It’s only when you get to this point that you become free from frustration. To get the full picture of your purpose,  you need to have a trusting relationship with God. To get the full pictures you need to have a trusting relationship with God.

Think about the following statements, they will help you know what point you are at in your journey.

• That God made the world….
• That it was His choice (not yours) to bring you into his world….
• God must have had a plan before bringing you here…
• The plan you had for yourself is nothing compared to the plan He has for you…
• What if God doesn’t show you His plan, will you be willing to embrace it though you can’t see it…
• Why should you?
• How would you be able to embrace what you don’t know?

Trust in Him.

What is TRUST?

Telling yourself to
Rely assuredly on God’s
Unwavering love and strength, then
Stepping forward with complete belief that he cares
Till the end.

Do you think He cares? Oh yes, He does. God really wants the best for you and if you don’t agree to this you won’t find rest in life. You will always be looking for more satisfaction. This is a big issue for many people. It’s easier to believe God for stuff as long as it doesn’t have to do with our dreams. Somehow people believe God is just a strict, unapproachable and callous father, I used to think that way.  I used to think that God was like people who didn’t care about what you think, that He only wanted His will to be done above all.

But I was wrong. God is our loving creator and father and He desires that we trust and believe in Him And trust His great wisdom and power. 

What do you think is the biggest reason people find it hard to surrender their dreams to God?

Do you agree that the only limit is the one you set yourself? You, my friend, maybe your own greatest critic.

Aren’t You Tired Of The Same Old?  

When was the last time you did something outside your ordinary? Something challenging? When was the last time you took a risk?  It’s very important to answer these questions. The human mind is very adventurous. However, the human mind also loves to be in control. We love to master our activities, we love to operate in our comfort zone. You don’t want to miss your special episodes on TV every day, you love your evening snack around the same time, you take your phone to bed just to help you fall asleep, you turn off your lights quite alright, but stay up late catching up with friends Facebook and Instagram. The next morning, you snooze your alarm 2-3 times, you say some prayers half asleep half awake on your bed, and then rush to have a shower, you continue your prayers in the bathroom, get ready and then fix yourself something to eat. You rush out and take the same way to work every day. Aren’t you tired of the same old?

Be Honest, Do you Feel Limited?

It’s true that we feel safe as we get used to our environment. We prefer to be veterans than rookies. It’s interesting that many prefer to operate from their place of comfort. They get so used to doing their life. Are you like this? What if I say that staying in your comfort zone may be limiting you. Take a moment to consider this. I want you to be really honest with yourself. When you were a child, what were the dreams you had? I remember when I was a child my dreams kept changing, there was a time I wanted to be a Pharmacist. I let go of that dream when my grades for the university was less than the cut off grade for pharmacy. Then I began to think of other options. Some other goals that were easier to achieve. Failures enable us to give up on our dream while we embrace whatever is easier to achieve.  Isn’t this what we do? You failed at achieving a goal for one reason or the other, then you make up a story in your own mind. You continue to live your life limited by the stories playing in your head.  I want you to be honest with yourself. What is it that you would do assuming if there were no limitations? Are you doing that now? Then you may be limiting yourself.

Are You Limited By Your Own Fears?

There is a tendency to think that you didn’t have a choice. “I am stuck with this life. Where do I start?” You may even think that there is actually a real limitation. Let me tell you something: The Only Limit Is The One You Set Yourself. It’s a real limitation because you have accepted it as one. After failing a few times you begin to measure yourself against what you have or have not been able to achieve. It’s true that your experiences were real, it doesn’t mean you are bound.  Did you know that those experiences may be pointers to the fact that showing that your goals are hard to achieve, not impossible? You may even have told yourself that “maybe God doesn’t even want me to, that’s why the doors are closing”. That’s not true either. The fact that you are not met with open doors is not an automatic turnaround. It may actually be the challenge you needed to push you in order to surmount that problem which will then lead you to the breakthrough ahead.

Are You Giving Too Much Power To The Critical Words From Others

Some other times the issue is that we give too much power to the comments from others. You remember the comment from your high school competitor like it was just yesterday. You were called a loser and kinda believe it. That old teacher that said you weren’t smart enough or is it a relative that compared you to every other child in the family? Whichever of the scripts playing in your head that you have given the power to, I want you to demote such scripts. Let me tell you the truth, it’s not really about you. You see if you had time to do research about those critics in your past, you will see that you weren’t their only victim. Ask a few other recipients you would definitely rest your case. When you give it some thought you will see that the only limit is the one you set yourself. You agreed with the invisible scripts in your mind and began to build an invisible wall around yourself. After all, Mrs. Sacramento said it when I was in Grade 6 and that’s the same thing my project manager implied last week during the team meeting. I am definitely not cut out for greatness. Though the points may be true, your assumption is not valid. You are only empowering the wrong opinion of others.

How Could You?

Do you remember you were made in the image of God? What does it mean to be made in God’s image? It means you share similarities with God. Yeah, you have the ability to create and make greatness happen if only you can see it. When God was going to create the earth, He had a clear vision of what He wanted to make. He wasn’t busy thinking about the fact that everything was without form neither was he focused on the void He could see. He was busy focusing His mind on His vision. Think about the details in this universe, even if only the details in your body alone, do you think someone that was doubting himself could pull it off? I don’t think so. And this God made you in His own image. How could you think this way? God commanded man to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. He didn’t put a limit on you, the only limit is the one you set yourself.

Whose Agenda Was It?

Well, the truth is that you have an enemy, he wanted to be like God. He initiated the first sin, demoting man from his position of closeness to God. How does the sin of Adam affect you? Well, Adam, the first human had a relationship with God like no other and then he lost it. This cut humans (including you) off from the sweet communion with God. It also gave power to the enemy to torment man (human). The limitations in your past, if you think clearly you will see that the main two of your limiting thought is derived from shame and guilt. Yeah, you may even agree with the notion that it was your fault. The enemy makes you believe you are either not good enough or asks you who do you think you are.

Thank God You Are Free

So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:10 Hallelujah! Thank God Jesus paid the price. You are free to be who God made you. If you are a new creature in Christ you are also like him here on earth. Now that’s double resemblance. Made in the image and you have a new life in Christ. You have already been set free, stop waiting for someone else to come set you free. What are your thoughts like? Are you stopping yourself from becoming whom you were made to be?

What Are You Waiting For?

Start now but remember that it will take a bit of time to become the real you.

1. You must believe that what looks like a dream to you now can become reality.
2. Sign up to pursue the real you.
3. Make up your mind to take the risk towards your dream each day.
4. Know that you will fail and win as you go, but you will learn in the process, and its ok. One truth is that the process is more important than the finish line.
5. If you are not courageous enough to pursue whom God made you then who would?

What are you waiting for? Remember that the only limit is the one you set yourself. Break all limitations in your mind. The world is waiting to meet you. You are your own biggest critic give yourself a break.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

When learning to drive, you are taught to also learn to check your blind spot. It is one of the critical lessons in driving.

What’s a blind spot and How do you check your blind spot?

It is an area where a person’s view is obstructed. Interestingly, something is there but because of its angle, you just can’t see it. Something is blocking your view of it, though it’s there.

This is the case of what happened to me a few days ago. Let me ask for your mercies in advance as you read this😊

You see, when I lived fully in Canada, I had an active Costco membership. But now, since I am only here for a fraction of time in a year, I couldn’t justify the membership payment.

Here is what I did, I collected one of my sisters card-she didn’t need it. And that way anytime I needed something from Costco I just walk in and use her card. However, I always used cash to pay because the name on bank card must tally with the member’s name.

I did that in Kingston for a few months and I tell you I never even felt I was doing anything wrong, at least they are still making money from my purchases. And all they need is that I show up at their location with a Membership card. Plus I am managing my family finances well.

Anyway, a few days ago in Montreal, I went to a Costco location. I picked up all I needed (I have a full house now). And proceeded to the cash for payments.

The cashier’s helper picked up the card from me, and then asked: “who’s card is this?” I was shocked but😳 calmly responded “it’s for one of my sisters” Well, then she pointed to the part of the card that read “this card is not transferable”.
Wow! It’s true! I never noticed that on the card.

She said in order to buy anything I must register as a member. I gave her my explanation why I didn’t want to get the membership but she insisted. At this point, I was really ANGRY 😡

I didn’t want to be more embarrassed (no yelling was going on, I doubt even if the next person in line knew what was going on). However, knowing I was holding up the line, and she didn’t look like she was going to change her mind. I didn’t also want to part with my money for membership. So I just walked away, angrily. Hoping that they would call me back. But no they didn’t and that made me even angrier.

Meanwhile, my hubby was waiting for me in the car, he saw me approaching the car without the grocery I went to get. He was puzzled; wondering why I was coming back with nothing.

I calmly answered him under so much pressure from the anger. At the point, I began to drive off. Then he reminded me that I still needed the stuff anyway and may just need to do the membership. But then I was already far from Costco. At this point, I began to consider going back.  Should I turn back? Do I want to pay? What turn do I need to make in order to turn back? All these and many more ideas were on my mind as I drove on. All of a sudden I realized that I had missed a major left turn.

Oh, men! And then I got on this shaky metal bridge over the St Lawrence River. I usually get scared driving on normal bridges let alone this almost transparent bridge. Driving on this bridge felt like driving on a pedestrian bridge-it was shaky and we could clearly see the water under. At this point, I was jokingly asking God (out loud) whether this was a way to punish me for using someone else’s card (in order words I just realized I had lied a few times). It was really scary to drive on that bridge.

I didn’t realize there was more stress to come…Oh no! it’s a one-directional bridge. I have to go round the South Shore a bit to get back on another bridge to bring me back to the Montreal Island. Drove for a few minutes before we to got back on Champlain Bridge. Facing a heavy Montréal rush hour traffic we drove slowly.

Long story short, we drove for the next almost 1.5 hours. I was mostly quiet throughout. More like; my mouth was quiet but my mind was far from that….”I get it loud and clear! But this is kinda harsh. Why didn’t my father just make me realize this was wrong?”

Why did I have to go through this? Why was I so angry, why did I not calm down, I was happy one of Costco staffs would have to go put back all I wanted to buy, felt like a payback, why didn’t I think of loving the lady at the cash, why did I feel rejected? How come I was so focused on my needs above others? These questions raced through my mind.

Meanwhile, my podcast was playing in the car as we drove. It was a WordFest session as pastor Ade talked about taking on God’s life and not ours. It was at the point he was using the monkey/human life illustration. Yeah preach it on- preach it at me.

Funny he was there listening too. He didn’t say a word, but his voice was pointing at me. At this point, it was mixed feelings for me. I get it, how come I never saw this as deception? But then isn’t this too much to pay for my errors.

The evening wasn’t easy for me at all. I gradually began to hear God speak to me. However, should I share this here on olusobanjo or not? I am ashamed of what people would think of me but thank God I am not living my new life based on my righteousness. Mine are like filthy rags. I took on His’. And gradually work towards becoming more like him inside out.

I wanna be like Jesus…but like a driver, I must be ready to check my blind spot. It’s not just about the black and white stuff, it’s about everything. In short now that I see it, this incidence fits in more into the black and white category for me.

My desire is to be like Jesus but the truth is that I am just on my way there. I am only a wannabe. I run through and seek to become fully like him. The one who gave his life for me.

Paul said…I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!” Ephesians 1:17-19 MSG

Lord, give me the ability to easily learn or understand things you want for me and otherwise. Guide and help me so I can detect what’s going wrong with senses other than my five senses. Help me to pay much attention to the kind of life you have set out for me.

What about you? Have you taken the time to check your blind spot lately? Could there be something there that you haven’t even paid attention to? Is it possible that you may be doing something wrong and not know it? Check your blind spot, pay attention.

you know what? It is my prayers that are being answered actually, because in church on Sunday, I shared “Examine me, God! Look at my heart! Put me to the test! Know my anxious thoughts! Look to see if there is any idolatrous way in me, then lead me on the eternal path!”  Psalms 139:23-24 CEB

My idea was that the troubles you experience when faced with difficulties are like the result you get for shaking a bottle of water with tiny sand underneath. Before the agitation, you would almost assume the sand is not there. However, when you shake it, you see it clearly.

All the vices I noticed during this situation had been inside of me but the rejection at Costco brought them to the surface.

Lord, I thank you! I want to be like you, continue your work in me. Help my friends too, those reading this. In Jesus name. I need a revelation of Christ. I need a proper perspective of my new life in Christ. I need to be all about that.

What next? Well, I will continue to pursue knowing my God. I will check if there are any other lies in my blind spot? And deal with them as I see them. And then one day, I know one day in the future, I will face this kind of rejection again and these vices wouldn’t be there anymore. I believe this. So help me God!